Saturday, January 4, 2014

The final part of letting go

is when you do it in your dreams

I had some strange two nights in the row

:)

on the first night I had a dream about my brain love, that I met in Finland, and who also forgot to tell me that he has a girlfriend :)

so in my dream we were in the winter forest, apparently talking about something important, and the longer we talked, the more I understood, that I don't really care, so I just turned from him and walked away, not like crying or anything, no, I decided, even his brilliant brain is not worth my suffering, it was bit surreal to see that picture, me, walking away

and right on the next night I saw the man I loved, we were in my city, talking and then we decided to go to the old city, and when we were reaching the crossroad suddenly one girl with dark hair appeared and took his hand and we were walking together, but when were crossing the road another black haired woman appeared and I just stood there looking at him, and he was telling me to go with him, but I realized, that it will always be the same, there will always be another woman, who he will love more and I turned away and walked away, I cried in the dream when I was walking away, because I understood, that we will never be together, but I woke up smiling, because I knew, it is now officially over

if I am letting somebody go in my dreams, that means I don't need that person

:)

and I used to be scared of the possibility of seeing him with somebody on the street, but now I don't really care if they get married and will have hundred kids, I just don't care anymore

they will always be my friends, but nothing more

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