Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Why do I even try

It is that time of the year, when I feel completely broken and useless

when I hate being ill

when I hate not being able to do the things I want to

when I hate myself for being weak

for not being motivated enough

hate pretty much everything

all of the headaches

all of the doctors appointments

for many years I am saying, that I'm tired of living

and I am

I really am

but the stupid thing in my head (aka brain) is not letting me to die peacefully

so I suck it up and try to be happy

but, just know, I always want to be dead

tomorrow I will be fine

why should not I be?

with the songs like that:

still a moooooountaaaaaaaaain

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