Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The older I get

the more I realize, that I should stop pretending to be interested in dating

because I like being single

I like having my male friends, without any hard feelings involved

when I was talking with the married girl  the work, we were talking a lot (slow days happen in geodesy too) and somehow started talking about how her husband would not allow her to sleep in anything besides lingerie

not even in pajamas

yesterday I was going through my things and I found my hockey jersey that I use as sleeping wear and I somehow had sudden clarity moment

I wanna sleep in my super oversized jersey when I want to

I wanna look like hobo when I want to

I wanna not combing my hair when I want to

I wanna jump on Rise Against concerts when I want to

I wanna scream on hockey games when I want to

I wanna wear my faux leather dress with my faux leather boots

I wanna do all the things that are not considered being girlie when I want to, even though I understand, it is not acceptable for most of the men, who are looking for a good representative wife in their life

I can compromise to some extent, but not much

I'm already tied down with my medicine

I do not wanna be stuck with one man, who wants me to do the things he wants to do

I wanna be free from that

I guess that is the sad truth of my existence, I would not be able to find a man, who will accept my sick twisted mind, as it is, not as it should be

and that is perfectly fine for me

I just don't wanna be married

and from now I will stop pretending that I want to


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