Sunday, October 9, 2016

Oh, what a lovely surprise

that's my motto in human interactions now

:)

I used to create situations in my head, patters, that I expected other people to follow

and then I was very disappointed, when they did not

but why would they? they were my patterns and my expectations

I was angry and mad and that resulted in arguments with them

that was a completely idiotic way of doing thing

way of talking to people

now I do not expect anything and each text message, each phone call, each "happy birthday!!!" is a pleasant surprise for me

I rearranged my life so that I have things to do, without constantly thinking "why did not he call"

I used to push myself in the orbit of some person

was trying to blend in with that person

rookie mistake

:)

now I am building my own road, while having occasional crossroads with other people

with my man we will have parallel ones (crossing a lot of times)

but never vanishing into one

and as for now I think it is right

*nevertheless, every day I check my finnish phone hoping to see that message from that one person and not getting it

**and it is getting me mad

***and that's why you should not expect anything

:)

oh, what a lovely surprise, that you visited my page :)

thank you!

:)

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